It just hurts too much sometimes, I don't really understand why but I just know it does. I always want to start writing again, I've honestly thought about getting another journal or just start blogging again. But for some reason I stop myself every time I think about it. I am pretty sure I think my way out of it. I just don't know what I will write, like I can lay in bed all day & over think every little damn thing in my life at that time. & then I think about writing like I used too when that happened, but once that paper, lap top or phone is in front of me I freeze & don't know what to say. I don't know how to put the thoughts in my head on a piece of paper. & even when I do, I don't know how to start it. I honestly think that's why my anxiety is so bad at times. Because I always keep everything to myself, I don't really tell people what is wrong with me. If someone asks my response is always either, "Nothing" or "I am fine, don't worry." & even when I go to tell that one person what is actually wrong, I sit there for a few minutes trying to get the thoughts in my head to become words out of my mouth. It's honestly so hard at times. & that's why I am pretty sure my anxiety gets so bad, because I keep everything to myself. So everything is just building up in my mind. It gets too much to handle at times, but I guess there's nothing I can really do about it.
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