Diego. :)

Just to let you know, Diego is my best guy friend. He know's more about me then my own best friend. Me & him have so much in common it's crazy! I miss him so much! He's over 7 hours away, by car, & every mile is killing me. I just wanna see him, I want to hug him, kiss him, be with him, be playful with him, be us, be how we always are. I just want him. I like him so much. & he likes me too. We wanna be together but... We can't. There's something in the way.. & it's my best friend, Faith. Diego & Faith have dated off & on since the beginning of April this year. & she's in love with him. But he doesn't like her anymore. He never even loved her.. But she doesn't know that. All she knows about me & Diego is that we kissed. Once. But the truth is.. We didn't only kiss once. We've been kissing for a while now. But NO ONE knows that. We didn't kiss while they were dating. So he never cheated. & I never cheated. Another thing Faith doesn't know is, Diego didn't even mean to like her. He told me he liked me & wanted to ask me out & be with me. But I was with someone else at the time. I didn't know that at the time. Because if I would have. I would have broken up with my boyfriend at the time to be with Diego. Because everything would be perfectly fine. Him & Faith wouldn't have dated. & she wouldn't be in love with him. Me & him would be together. But we're not.. & now it's too late. Because if we date everyone will be against us. My best friend will hate me. She even told me if me & Diego date than she will go in depression & shut everyone out. She will be more depressed then ever before. & if you knew her like I do. then that's bad. Honestly.. I'm scared of my future.. I want to be with the guy I'm falling for.. But I don't wanna lose more people then I already have.. All I know is I'm going to have to choose sooner or later. & honestly, I am thinking about choosing him. But then.. I don't know. I don't wanna lose her as a friend. Ughh! I hate this so much. Why can't this all be easier? I just wanna be his. I wanna be his girl. I just don't wanna lose my best friend. Damn it! Why does she have to be "in love" with him? Just why? They didn't even date that long. She doesn't even know what being "in love" even is! 3 months off & on doesn't make you fall in love with someone. It took me about 5 months to be fall in love with someone. & 6 months to be completely in love with someone. I know what love feels like. I know what love is. Honestly, she may be older but she doesn't. I'm sorry to say but she doesn't. Ughh! Why can't she just see that she doesn't love him like she thinks she does. I fucking hate this. :( 
Yup, I think me & Diego are just going to stay a secret for now. So no one gets hurt. I think that is the best thing to do. 

Sorry I didn't know what else to say. I can't think right now.. 

~Nevaeh Raine.<3
July 15th, 2013.