Well, lets just say my New Years started perfectly. I got to kiss Diego from the last minute of 2013 to the first minute of 2014. I just wish I could have spend the whole day with him. Or even today.. But, he had to leave afterwards because he had to go back home to celebrate with his family. & I was perfectly fine with that. Because it's his family. But, I still wish we could have hung out all day or even just that night. It would have been even more perfect. Because I would have been with him. & got to cuddle up to him that night. & his him goodnight & good morning. But, I'm just happy I got to see him before 2013 ended.
So, I just found out that Faith was over at Diego's house all New Years Eve. & even today.. I have been crying all day. I stop for about 5 minutes & then outta no where tears begin to fall down my face.. It just makes me think so much. Like, why would she be at his house? Why does she have to be at his house? I fucking hate it when she's at his house. I hate it so damn much. You'll never understand how much I really do hate it. Because I'll probably never tell you..
But this has been going through my head all damn day. You could have stayed at your house all day with Faith. But you didn't. You came to my house to get peroxide. & you literally kissed me outta no where. You were picking me up. Spinning me around. & kept kissing me. You wouldn't stop. I didn't want you to stop. & then you said you'll try to sneak out later so you can come hangout with me for a little. & you did. You texted me asking me if I was home alone. & I said yeah. & you told me you were going to come stop by for a little. & you literally came 15 minutes till midnight. & stayed at my house till about 5 minutes after midnight. You were my last & first kiss of 2013/2014. & I was yours! We both got the New Years kiss we've never got before. & the thing is, is you could have stayed at your house with Faith. & kissed her at midnight. But you didn't. You kissed me. & wanted to come to my house to hang out for a little. When she was at your house. It just makes me think so much. Like, why would you kiss me & come over to my house when you could have just stayed at your house & kissed Faith instead. Don't get me wrong or think I'm complaining. I'm beyond happy you didn't kiss her at midnight. But still, why? & you called me earlier saying that you weren't in the mood to do anything with Faith. You wouldn't talk to her or even touch her. But when you came to my house the first time you were so happy. & smiling & everything. You grabbed me & kissed me. You kissed me. But you couldn't even touch Faith? Do you not see what I'm getting at? If you don't & you end up reading this. I'll just explain it to you in person. Which I'm thinking about doing anyways. Haha. Because you really need to see what I'm trying to say.
Ughh. I just hate the fact that she's at your house right now. & you're not even texting me back. So much over thinking going through my head right now.. & I can't stop crying. I've been crying on & off for the past 8 hours.. I just wanna be with you right now. I don't want you with her. Ughh. This hurts so fucking much. I think I'm just going to go to bed. Since you're not texting me back. & I'm just sitting on my bed, listening to music waiting for you to exactly talk to me..
Yup, goodnight. Hopefully I'll get to explain what I was trying to say up there to you soon. When you're not with fucking Faith..
~Nevaeh Raine.
January 2nd, 2014.
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