RANT.

OHMYGOSH. I can't take it anymore. I fucking miss you. I miss you so damn much. I'm laying in my bed right now just thinking about you. You're the only thing that has crossed my mind all damn day. No joke. I just miss everything about you. The way we kiss, the way you hugged me so damn tight when I just needed something to hold me, the way you always looked at me, that smile you always had on your face when we were together, that laugh you always made when I did something stupid, the way we would just lay in your bed & cuddle, the way you would pick me up & kiss me, all thoughts times at your house, the running around downstairs when you took my phone or did something, all the car rides home, shopping at the mall with your mom, going out to eat with your mom, playing video games together, taking cute/silly pictures, sitting on the bus together, the way my fingers fit perfectly right between yours, all the kisses on the forehead & cheek, face-timing while you were gone for a month, getting lost in the woods together, singing together even thought we're both not the best singers, you singing Spanish songs to me, all the late night phone calls, when we would stay up all night just texting each other how we felt about each other, how we would call each other bad names but know we don't mean them, the way you would tackle me into  your bed & start tickling me to death, the way we would pretend to fight each other & instead we would just push each other around, when we spend a whole weekend just me & you, how we would just being completely crazy together, how we would walk around base just for the hell of it, how we would trade phones for the weekend, how we were both so happy when we were together, how we loved each other & wasn't afraid to yell it to the whole world.. 

Ughhh.. Eduardo. I just miss everything. All our memories, the way we felt about each other, when we would hang out almost every day. I just miss it all.. But you know what I miss the most outta all of that up there? YOU. I miss you the most. I miss you more than anything in the world. I would seriously do anything to get all that back. I would do anything just to call you mine again. Just to be able to be held in your arms & know you're mine & I'm yours. I would do anything just to restart with you.. All the way back to the day we started dating the first time. August 15, 2013. Because we were both so happy back then. It was like nothing could come between us. That it was us against the world.. I just want another chance. Kinda like a second chance.. You know? 

Damn it.... I'm sitting here in my bed just thinking about everything. & how much I really do miss you.. & love you.. I just wish there was something I could do to make you realize all of this stuff I've been trying to tell you. Because I'm pretty sure you'd finally open your eyes & see what's been right in front of you since it all began. 

Eduardo, I love you. Please, don't you ever question that. I miss you more than anything right now. I just wish I had the guts to tell you all of this to your face. But who knows, maybe one day I will? 

~Erica Tulgetske.♡

January 28th, 2014.