Revolution.

New Year revolution; don't fuck up.

On New Years Eduardo came up stairs, I was high so I was just trying to act normal because I know he hates it. He was just hanging out with us, & he says to me, "I swear Erica, if you fuck up one more time I will leave you." He said something else after that, but I don't remember what it was. & the look on his face when he told me that just said it all. He was being dead serious, & that made me scared & realize stuff.

It made me scared because I can't lose him, I love him too much to even think about losing him & not crying. He's my everything.. & I hate how I have hurt him in the past, it still gets to me today.. If I could  go back & fix all of the fucked up shit I have done in the past, I would. & he knows that. It's just I am not going to fuck up again. I can't lose him...

It made me realize how much I've hurt him, & how much he has forgave me.. & I am so thankful to still have him in my life. Even after everything I have put him through, he is still standing right by my side. & I couldn't thank him enough for that..

Eduardo seriously means so much to me. I have never loved someone so much, until him. He's my whole world, my everything. He makes me smile while I am crying. He makes me the happiest girl alive when he kisses me & tells me he loves me. & I can't even explain how much I love him. He knows I am in love with him, & that's good enough for me.

So this year, no more fucking up. I can't lose the love of my life.