I Can't Do This Anymore..

I feel like you're gone. & your not coming back this time.. I need you more than anything right now. But, I know you're hurt. It makes since now. All of this. Why you bring it up everyday. It's because it's still hurting you. I'm so sorry... I was stupid & didn't know what I was doing. Or getting myself into. 

The fact that you're not even talking to me or even looking at me on the bus is killing me. I just wanna talk to you. I can't lose you.. But, I think I already have.. I just wanna cry right now. The tears are forming in my eyes but I'm trying to hard not to let them fall.. But, I know sometime today they are. & I'm not going to be able to stop them.. They are just going to start running down my face.. I just can't do this. I need you in my life. I just need you back.. You don't understand no one understands. You mean everything to me. & just watching you put your head down & not say a single word to me, hurts. More than anything.. I can literally feel my eyes hurting & burning. Because I wore them out crying too much yesterday.. It got to the point to where I thought I wouldn't be able to cry anymore. Because of how much I did last night. I just wish you'd understand. & I hope you'll let me tal to you later. Because I can't lose you. I just can't.. If I lose you, I wouldn't know what to do. My mind would go crazy. Like it is right now, but worse. Holding back the tears is getting worse. All I know is, if you don't talk to me at all today.. I'll know I've lost you this time.. & right then & there tears will be rushing down my face.. 

I just can't do this anymore. I need you back. If I can't talk to you & explain everything to you later. I don't know what I'm going to do.. They would just turn into words unspoken.. That are bottled up in my head wanting to come outta my mouth.. 

~Neaveh Raine.. 

February 25th, 2014.