Freaking out..

I'm so scared for later on.. We're finally going to talk. Shit. What do I say? What if I cry? What if you actully let me go....? What am I going to do..

It's going to hurt. 

I'm just not going to be able to handle it.. 

I'm in love with you, how could I let things get this bad? Am I seriously that fucking stupid? I guess so. I'm just praying later, when we talk, goes good. That I won't lose you. That maybe, just maybe, this will be the start of something new with us. & a good new start, not bad. 

I'm just so scared. You have no idea. 

If you actully let me go this time, I'm going to lose it. I'm just not going to be able to do anything. 

I'm going to get depressed, I know it.. It's going to hit me so hard.. 

But, like I've been saying & doing. I'll just go numb.. To where I can't feel anything. Maybe that's the better choice if this all goes horrible.. Because it's going to hurt, so bad. Like a just got stabbed repeatedly in the back.. 

I just can't handle losing you.. 

~Erica.. 

June 30, 2014.