Their just friends.

Their just friends. 

Eduardo & Katy are just friends. 

Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. Their just friends. 

I just don't matter.

I feel like I just don't matter anymore. Like I could just die & no one would notice. 

Like I am just a waste of space. 

No one seems to care about me anymore. I feel like my feelings just don't matter anymore. People can hurt me & just laugh about it. Like it doesn't affect me at all, when it does. But they don't care, as long as their happy that's all that matters to them. They don't care that they are distroying my life & me. That their hurting me so bad to where I just don't want to be here anymore. 

You know, if I would have just heard that at school I would have laughed. Like, "Are you kidding me? That's hilarious that someone would make up a lie like that. Do they not have anything better to do?" But I didn't hear it like that, I heard it from the one person that means the absolute world to me. & it wasn't in a good, laughing way. It was in the way that I just wanted to ball my eyes out because a stupid, messed up lie was starting to ruin my life. I wouldn't have cared, but it was effecting my relationship with the person I love the most. & I instantly started thinking I was going to lose him. Which I just can't handle. Everyone knows that. But that's when it started to get to me. Because I cannot lose anymore people in my life, especially him. 

I am sorry, I can't write anymore. 

I just can't right now. 

I just don't understand,

How can people be so cruel? Why would people purposely try to ruin someone's life? Make it to where they don't want to live anymore? I just don't get it. 

What did I ever do to you three? Because I honestly don't remember what I did to make you guys want to ruin everything for me. But, I bet you three are happy. You guys are almost getting what you want, for my life to be ruined. Congratulations. I am so fucking happy for you guys. Do you want me to throw you a party to celebrate? I am sorry, but I just can't get over how sick of people you guys really are. Like, wow. Are you trying to make it to where I am depressed? To where my life is completely over? Because I'll admit, if that's it, then you're already half way there. Because I am depressed, are you happy now? I have been crying so damn much in the past four days, all because of you three. So, congrats. You guys got what you wanted. I hope you guys are proud of what you did, & who you became. 

Just one cut..

I just can't stop thinking about it. 

How I could just pick up that blade & make just one simple cut. 

Maybe more.. 

I have thought about it way to much lately, it just won't get out of my head. But I am staying strong, until I can't be strong anymore. 

I am holding back that urge as much as I can. 

I can't let the blade win this time. Even if I want it too. 

Fuck it.

I have noting to say, once again..

My mind is blank. 

You know, I miss falling asleep with a smile in my face & waking up the same way. I miss knowing I was the reason for your smile.. Fuck. I just really miss you. You're the only thing on my mind 24/7. 

Eh, fuck it. 

What I have to say doesn't matter anymore. Never did, never will. 

Won't change anything in the end, so fuck it. 

I want to be numb..

Honestly, I have nothing to say. 

Actually, more like speechless... 

Are you happy you hurt me? 

Does it help you sleep better at night knowing I am in pain & trying not to cry myself to sleep like the other nights. 

You know, I haven't been able to sleep good sense the last time we spoke...

Your voice keeps replaying in my head.. 

The memory of you, doesn't leave my lonely mind. Crawling with thoughts of me & you.. 

I don't know what to do.. 

My whole body... Numb. 

To be honest, I don't want to feel anymore... 

I am in too much pain.. No one understands how I am feeling...

I want to die... 

I am not as strong as I used to be... 

My heart, is broken. Into a million little pieces.. 

But you don't care.

You're going with your life... 

Not worrying about mine... 

I Just Don't Know..

Things I have to say; 

I don't know.. 

Sorry...