Okay, think about it. We have been broken up since the end of September. & still continue to hang out, flirt, kiss & hook up. We act & look like a couple. But, we're not.. While you were dating her you tried to ignore me. Kinda like pushing me away. Like I was nothing. It didn't help that I kept going to your cousins house, Grace. But, she's my best friend & I needed her. So of course you're going to see me there. & she's my best friend. Anyways, while you were dating Faith we ended up kissing & that lead to hooking up. So, you cheated on Faith, with me. Again. After that you said it couldn't happen again. You told Faith what happened. & she was hurt. But you still continued to date her? What the fuck? If makes no since. You cheat on the girl & she still want to be with you. & I guess you do too? Um okay, yeah. To be honest, that made me feel worthless. But I just had to push that all away. Because I "knew you were coming back." But honestly, I don't even know if you are anymore.. & that's what sucks the most. Anyways, she was at your house from Thursday to Saturday morning. & I went over there Thursday & Friday just to hang out for a few hours with Grace. Because sh wanted to see her boyfriend. So I went with her. Friday night Grace's mom took you to get pizza & while we were siting in Hungry Howies. You kept putting your arms around me. & I was laying on your lap & you were laying on mine. & Grace asked you if I make you happy. You said, "Yes." & then she asked if Faith made you happy. & you said, "I don't know." How don't you know if someone makes you happy? Either they do or. They don't. Simple as that. But, I remember you're I don't knows either mean, I don't know, maybe or no. So, that's not a solid yes. So, why would you be with someone that you're not happy with? If you're going to be with someone they should make you happy. Not just smile. Anyways, when we got back to your house. You wanted me to help you bring in the pizza. So I did. Then you said you had to go thank your Aunt for taking you to get the pizza. Even though you already said thank you to her like 5 times before. Well we were walking outta the door we ended up getting really close. I backed away & opened the door. You walked out the door & said, "Just do it already!" So, I turned around & kiss you. & you kissed me back. You wanted me to kiss you. When your girlfriend was right upstairs in your house & you could have just walked up there & kissed her. But you didn't. You didn't want to kiss her. You wanted to kiss me.
That's what I just don't understand. You would rather kiss me & be around me than your own girlfriend. I make you happy. & she only makes you smile. We acted more like a couple while you were dating her than you two did. Yes, you two aren't dating anymore. But we still act like a couple when were not. I'm not complaining about it. I'm just confused about it. Like, we kiss, flirt, hang out, hook up, act weird, be ourselfs & just are us. & act like a couple. So, I don't get it. Why can't we just restart everything? Like how it was the first day everything happened, May 6th, 2013. That's when everything started falling right into place. & I just want it to go back to that. We were so happy together. We still are. I think we are atleast. Anyways, I just want to press a restart botton & relive everything from that day. & make it to where I never lost you. I know I haven't lost you completely. Because you said you were going to stop talk to me but you haven't. You still find ways to talk to me.. But still. I just want to restart everything. Like another chance. I just hope when we talk later today you realize & understand what I'm trying to say.. & okay, yes. I understand that you're always "10 steps ahead." But I just hope you open your eyes & realize what is right in front of you.
~Nevaeh Raine.
November 19th, 2013.
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