School.

I seriously hate school so much. It's like a prison. & I'm the prisoner. The food sucks. So I don't eat it. The teachers are all bitches. & a lot of students are assholes. Not all of them, just most. If doesn't help everywhere I turn I see him.. & most of the time it's fine & I just smile because I'm happy for him. But other times he may be flirting with some girl or something. & it just hurts so much.. I can't stand watching it. But, I can't turn away. It hurts the most when he's flirting with her.. That's when I just want to cry. I know that probably sounds over dramatic. But, if people understood the pain I go throughout everyday then maybe they would understand. But they don't. So they can't judge, but they still do.. I just seriously hate school. It's a waste of my time. Yeah, I'm getting an education. But, no education is worth dealing with all the shit I deal with everyday. Yeah, I smile. I act like I'm happy. But, it's never a real smile. It's fake. I'm not really happy. I may seem like it. But please, don't let that foul you. Because I'm not. 

School is seriously just so much to handle now a days. I just wish it was simpler. But, it's not. & I hate that I have to go every day at school with a fake smile. & everytime anyone asks if I'm okay. I just say yeah & boom. They believe me. I hate lying to people about that. But, it's not like they would are anyways. I just wish someone would ask me if I'm okay & I would say yes I'm fine & they would say "No you're not. What's wrong?" Then I would finally not is at least someone can see I'm hurting.. But, no one does. & it's going to be like that till I graduate. I honestly just hate school. I wish it was better.. But, it's not. & I don't think it's ever going to be. 

~Navaeh Raine. 

October 14th, 2013.